Lots of autistic individuals have specific anxieties about challenges they face during their everyday living. If things don’t go their way in their desired structured environments, it could lead to meltdowns. When I was in elementary school, I had certain quirks I had that would make me worked up if they didn’t go my way. Many of the anxieties I had were ones that had to do with getting a certain pool or parking spot, waiting in long lines, as well as being the only riders in an elevator. I have improved in all of these areas, but I know there are autistic kids who may face these and similar issues today.
When we lived at an Avalon apartment after we moved to Massachusetts when I was six, there were certain anxieties I had that would make me worked up if they didn’t go my way. The complex had a pool at the clubhouse, where we would go almost every day during the summer. There was a certain spot we liked to get by the pool at which I felt comfortable, and I wanted to sit there every time. One day, when we saw other people in that spot, I completely lost it. I had an all-out temper tantrum that took away from the fun atmosphere of that day for us and the other pool goers. To provide reassurance, my parents would tell me that there are plenty of other spots at the pool, and if we don’t get the one we want, it is not a big deal. Why get upset about a seat when the main purpose of our time at the pool is to have fun? After several reassurances and practices of sitting at other spots, I was more respectful if others sat in the spot by the pool. As I got better at handling when people were in “our spot,” I had no preference where we set up shop for our day at the pool.
Around the same time, I had an anxiety where I wanted my parents to park in the same corner spot right by our apartment. Like the pool seat, I got upset when other people parked their cars in the spot, and I would get antsy when they did. To avoid getting upset, I would close my eyes and hold my mom’s hand from the car to our apartment door so I wouldn’t get upset. We ended up putting tape over the spot to reserve it so nobody else could park in it. I was in a good place about putting the tape down, but my parents said that we shouldn’t restrict who parks where, and that anyone can park in any spot. I agreed with what they said, and over time I became more accepting and didn’t care who parked there.
Up until I was 12, I wanted the same spot every time my family and I went to the movie theater, which was the top left corner. Not only that, I wanted us to get to the theater at least an hour before the show so we could be the first ones there. If we weren’t first or didn’t get the spot we wanted, I would throw a fit. I remember going to see “Shaggy Dog” when I was eight and I saw people ahead of us enter the theater we were going to, and I frantically ran to the door to try to go in with them so we could pick out our spot before them. My parents would tell me that we would still get a seat in the theater, even if it’s not the one we want. She also mentioned that if we go to see a movie with other people or if I go with other family and friends that I’ll be have to flexible if the group decides to sit somewhere else. The experience is still the same no matter where we sit, and that’s how I interpreted our movie theater trips from that point on. After a few practices, I became more accepting of where we sit in the theater, and I have no preference what time we get there.
I was a very eager autistic kid growing up, so when it came to waiting in long lines, my patience was thin. I became anxious waiting because I thought we weren’t able to get to what we wanted to do, and I didn’t want to be in a long line because of the tightness of the crowd. In long lines such as an amusement-park ride, or going to places like Dairy Queen or Carlo’s Bakery, I wanted to leave the line and explore the area nearby so I wouldn’t have to stand for a long time. To help with overcoming waiting in lines, my parents said there will be times where I’ll be with family and friends who would want to hang out and chat in line, which also helps pass the time. I found doing so would make the time go quicker, and I found myself not being too worked up when I had to wait in a long line.
Another anxiety I had when I was younger was wanting to ride the elevator with only my family. I felt a little claustrophobic sharing an elevator with two to three other folks, which I was why I didn’t want to ride with anyone else but my parents and sister. I would get upset and frustrated when we shared the elevator with others because, at the time, of how they would limit the space and not make the elevator experience as enjoyable. If people joined us on the ride down or up, or when the door opened there were people already there, we would wait until the next empty one. After a few meltdowns on my part, my parents told me that we would have to share the elevator with others. They said there is enough room even though it can get tight in there, and it’s easier getting on one that’s available instead of having to wait for one that’s empty. Keeping that philosophy in my mind made me understand my parents’ perspective, and now I don’t mind having to share the elevator because out in public and in the workforce, sharing the elevator is unavoidable.
I’m very appreciative of my parents’ support to have me overcome my anxieties and not see these anxieties as a big deal. They helped me every step of the way to get me on track and see these events as minor inconveniences and not the end of the world. As I learned in ABA, all of my anxieties were glitches, and not things to worry about because everything would work out in the end. I don’t see those quirks as anxieties anymore, and I don’t think twice if they happen today.
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