“People are Always There to Help”: An Interview with Alex Ciarlo

Alex Ciarlo of Woodbury, Connecticut, was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome when he was 16, but that has not prevented him from achieving his goals in life. He is a high school graduate, and he’s a sophomore at Post University currently studying children‘s literature with a focus in psychology. I met Alex through ASRC’s virtual weekend game night and social group, and we have become very good friends through it. A few days ago, I interviewed Alex to understand more about his life with Asperger’s, the challenges he’s faced throughout life and what Asperger’s and autism mean to him.

ZS: How old were you when you were diagnosed with autism/Asperger’s?

AC: I was 16 when I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome.

ZS: Did you have any challenges growing up?

AC: I had a few challenges throughout the years. One of the challenges I had growing up was making friends. I had trouble finding people to talk to, and some of them would talk over me, which was very frustrating. In sixth grade, I was out sick from school with pneumonia and missed several days of classes.

Falling behind in school would make me very anxious. My parents picked up my schoolwork and brought it home for me so I wouldn’t fall far behind and increase my anxiety.

ZS: What types of therapy did you receive?

AC: I received speech and OT when I was in grade school. I also met with a speech therapist, who helped me understand approaches to situations in my life. We talked about I how I could make more friends, manage worries such as being on time, the right words to use when talking with others, as well as saying positive things to enhance my conversational skills. My speech therapist was very supportive of helping me lower my anxieties and understand appropriate reactions, which has made me a better person.

ZS: How have your school experiences been?

AC: They have been very good. When I was in grade school, I had some amazing paras who helped in the classroom. Everyone works at different paces, so the teacher and paras made sure not to go too fast or too slow when helping us. I also worked with amazing tutors who made sure I understood the material and helped me prioritize and plan my work. I was involved in IEP meetings, and got to review my accommodations with my teachers and specialists to see how they useful they were. In college, I have had a lot of helpful accommodations set up for me, such as making papers with text blown up in size so I could easily read them. The workload’s been manageable, and I’ve had an amazing group of helpful professors.

ZS: What was the college application experience like?

AC: The paperwork was a little stressful. I did have anxieties about making mistakes and that colleges wouldn’t accept me. I made sure I thoroughly reviewed the applications before I submitted them so I wouldn’t have to worry about it. Once I got to college, the challenge was finding and keeping relationships with people. I had some anxieties with that, and I’m very cautious about the people I talk to. I make sure people are nice before I start establishing a strong relationship with them.

ZS: What does autism mean to you?

AC: I have Asperger’s, but there are components on how it’s similar to autism. One of the biggest components is the communication. Many autistic people can’t talk and can’t explain what they want, which is very frustrating. Establishing a stronger communication system for how nonverbal autistic individuals can communicate is essential to understanding what they need and want. Giving them the opportunities to communicate will allow us to see their interests, learning needs and even making friends.

ZS: What misconceptions about autism would you like to be fixed?

AC: People with autism can make friends. There are uncertainties I have about the responses I may receive, but I have found that my true friends show a true inclination to what I share with them. I’m very thankful to have friends who support me in what I do, and anyone with autism or Asperger’s has the same opportunities to make friends.

ZS: What message do you have to families with children on the spectrum?

AC: People are always there to help. There are always places to go for help, and everyone is there to give a helping hand. Everyone from therapists to family members to friends are there to give you support every step of the way. They will help manage worries, the right words to use and know what positive things to say. I’m glad my family and therapist are there to provide me help, and anyone on the spectrum has the opportunities to receive the same support.